Let’s be real for a second.
When we talk about the “mental load” of motherhood, we’re not just throwing around a buzzword. We’re talking about the actual cognitive, emotional, and sensory bandwidth required to run a household, raise children, and keep everyone afloat—without anyone noticing what it takes.

I remember one Thursday morning when I completely lost it—over toast.

My oldest had just said, “Mom,you forgot to get more strawberry jam,” and I swear I felt the whole system in my brain crash like an old computer. I hadn’t slept well, tmy little one had been up at 4:40, and the baby monitor had finally gone silent just as I was supposed to wake up and get breakfast made. But the jam comment? That was the last straw. Not because I forgot the jam. But because I had remembered everything else.

I had packed lunches, taken everyone to the homeschool field trip, remembered that the goats needed more food, tracked a UPS delivery for homeschool materials, and was mentally sorting through which kid was due for a well visit—all before 8:00 AM.

This is the mental load.

And it is constant.

Moms don’t just do things—we hold everything in our heads.
We manage the family calendar, recall everyone’s shoe sizes, track which kid hasn’t pooped in two days, and plan meals around the leftover broccoli no one liked.

In occupational therapy, we call this executive functioning. It’s the ability to organize, plan, start tasks, shift between them, and remember what needs to happen next. Most of us think of this as something kids need help with. But guess who’s doing all that behind the scenes for everyone else?

Me- Mom.

This cognitive load is invisible, unpaid, and chronic. And for many moms—especially those who are also neurodivergent themselves—it’s deeply draining.

The Real Impact

According to a 2025 study published in Archives of Womens Mental Health, women overwhelmingly bear the brunt of household management tasks—even when both parents work full-time. The researchers found that this “invisible labor” often goes unrecognized, but has serious emotional consequences: increased stress, resentment, and burnout.

If you're already stretched thin, even one more thing—like remembering to defrost the chicken—can tip the scales.

So when people say, “Just write it down,” it’s not always helpful. The problem isn’t that we don’t have planners. It’s that we are the planner.

(Aviv E, Waizman Y, Kim E, Liu J, Rodsky E, Saxbe D. Cognitive household labor: gender disparities and consequences for maternal mental health and wellbeing. Arch Womens Ment Health. 2025 Feb;28(1):5-14. doi: 10.1007/s00737-024-01490-w. Epub 2024 Jul 1. PMID: 38951218; PMCID: PMC11761833.)

Where AI Comes In—Gently

So here’s where I started to play with something different. Not another app. Not another system that needs me to do all the work. But something that could help me think more clearly.

I started using ChatGPT to help sort through the easy stuff, so that I could focus on the big things.
Not for everything. But for the stuff I didn’t have the energy to hold anymore.

Like:

• “Make a dinner plan based on what I have: carrots, rice, and frozen ground turkey.”

• “Write a checklist for swim lesson mornings for a 2 year-old, 5-year-old and an 8-year-old.”

• “Help me respond kindly to an email about a playdate I don’t want to go to, but I like the family.”

It wasn’t magic. But it was relief.

Because it wasn’t just about saving time. It was about having someway to process through all the thoughts running through my mind- all the time.

No judgment. No forgetting. Just a tiny bit of mental margin handed back to me.

Why This Matters as an OT (and a Mom)

From an Occupational Therapy lens, tools that reduce cognitive strain are valuable. We teach clients how to externalize executive functioning—using visual schedules, checklists, timers, and supports.

Using ChatGPT is just one more way to do that.

It’s like giving yourself a co-regulator, so your brain isn’t spinning out trying to juggle everything at once. And for moms who are constantly asked to perform while planning, it’s a way to finally put down the clipboard.

Bottom Line

The mental load of motherhood is real.
And while it won’t be solved overnight, we can start lightening the load—without needing a new calendar app, a new chore chart, or a new version of ourselves.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is get a little help and that’s exactly what ChatGPT has done for me.

P.S. Want to try this out?

I’m sharing weekly prompts for moms to try using AI for small parenting wins—without guilt, gimmicks, or screens for your kids.
Follow me @ThePromptedParent or visit ThePromptedParent.com to learn more.